July 2015-November 2015 Quotes

Either I am WAAAAAAY behind or I already posted this on A Contingent of Kurths. Either way, enjoy!

Mama: Dada, hit a turkey on the way to work...
Damon: Did he eat it??

Mama is tickling Carrie with freezing cold hands. Complaining, she says, "you're cold"
"I know. It's less than 70 inside and less than 70 outside. And I'm cold blooded." Mama sticks out her tongue like a snake. Carrie, "really?" Mama cracks up. Carrie, "not cool."

Liam, nine and thirty-five thirty-sixths: where's the plutonium jelly?

In Canada, seeing signs.
Mama: is it /sor-tee/ or /sor-tee-ay/ for "sortie/exit"?
Dada: Uh, I dunno. I always thought it was /sor-tee/ but I could be /sor-tee/ wrong.

Carrie, indignant: I know that vocab!
Mama: No, you don't.
Carrie: Yes, I do!
Mama: What's an atom?
Carrie: It's made up of positrons and negatrons...
Mama: NO, IT'S NOT!
Carrie: Bwhahahaha!

Mama: Why do you have art all over your arm?
Carrie: We all do.
Mama: If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off too?
Carrie: Yes. Yes, I would. All my friends are in 8th grade.
Mama: ...

Liam: Generally speaking, Grandmama, you're not really all that old.

Damon: You're tuwning brown.
Mama: Hmm. I must be eating lots of chocolate. How much chocolate do you think Zita eats?
Damon: All of it.

Mama: Carrie, come rescue this stinkbug.
Carrie: Justaminute.
Damon: I'll get it! *pause* Ow! It kicked me! Carrie, can you get it? It'll kick me again!
Dada: Carrie, come get it or I'll "rescue it"...

Carrie: What is that?
Mama: It's Grey Poupon.
Carrie: WHAT?! Poop on?! ...(As Mama heads to the quote board) No, wait! Why do IIIII have all the inappropriate ones?!
Dada: Junior high brain.

Carrie, shooing fruit flies.
Mama sniggers.
Carrie: GO AWAY! There's like 20 of them! *inhales sharply, then slaps hand against her nose*
Mama: Go blow.

Mama: Do you ever make chicken stock like from real chickens?
Grandmama: No. That's why God gave us Swanson's.

To Mama, who's been painting: 
Liam: You look better in your bikini than in anything else. Which is weird. Cuz you can see more of your skin.

Liam: Do you know the Canadian language?
Dada: Yup.
Liam, astounded: Really!?!?!

Dada singing, "it's the ennnnnd of the world as we know it"
Damon retorts: You don't know that!!

At Manoj and Priscilla's, Mama admires the paint in the bedroom: I wonder what they call this green.
Dada: Pea pod sprout on a spring day under a full moon!
Mama: ...!

Carrie: She wants to know where we get these green beans.
Mama: Del Monte, Blue Lake, Cut Green Beans. Kroger. Walmart. Meijer.
Carrie, examining her Tupperware: Where does it say that?... Oh.... They don't come in this....

Dada: What?!
Mama: I said, "are you patting my candy pants?"
Dada: I THOUGHT I heard "are you panting my canteen?" Hehe!

Grandmama: and I brought Dada some pickles...
Damon breaks into the Hallelujah chorus.
Grandmama and Mama exchange mystified giggles.

Zita: How do you survive so many school nites?? I have one a week and wondering if humans self combust!

Carrie sneezes.
Mama: God bless you!
Carrie: Thank you!
Grandmama: I hope your sneeze germs all run right back up your arm!
Mama: Hahahah! That's not very nice!
Grandmama: If they'd wanted some sweet old granny they should've picked somebody else.

Grandmama: Are those suns?
Damon: No, they're spiders.
Grandmama: Why are they up in the sky?
Damon: See, they have 8. Suns have 10.
Grandmama and Mama: ...

Liam: Do you think there's such a thing as a himicane? *pause* Because there's a hurricane...

Carrie: Are you allowed to drink when you have kids?
Mama: Howdoyouthinkwegetthroughparenting?
Carrie: What?
Mama: Never mind.
Carrie: That's how they survive parentinghood?
Mama grins.

Mama, squeezing Damon tight during love: Mmmmmm, squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze the Bebeeeeeeee!
Damon, squeaking: Aaaaahhhh! You'll squish my brains out and pop my bones out of me!

Grandmama: Carriiiiiiiieeeee Maaaaaaayyyy... I didn't drive all this way to come look at your bum (under covers, not getting out of bed the last day of summer vacation)

Grandmama, replying to emails: Valerie, if I ever get like this and you don't shoot me, it's your own doggone fault.

Mama: Damon, go brush your teeth.
Damon: Hold on, I'm decorationing.

Mama, disgruntled over Damon losing hoodie and Liam losing lunch box: Gonna send you two to school in a barrel!
Carrie: Hope they lose it...
Mama: !!!

Carrie, hollering: Maaaaamaaaaaaaaaa, canIpeeintheOldLadyRoom?
Mama: No.
Damon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH! NooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mama, astounded: I said, "no!"
Damon: Oh, whew. I thought you said, "yes"
(Is Dada home from New Zealand YET!?)

Damon, singing: I'm sixty and I know it...

Damon, 5: Skeletor and Stinkinfind (naming his drawings)

Damon, singing again: We found a callipitter... we found a callipitter....

                                 ***

"How volatile and untrustworthy memory is. How naive we are to depend on such a fragile, tempermental mechanism to keep our most important records straight." Jonathan Carroll's Bathing the Lion