July 2016- June 2017

Damon, 6: I look like a Frankenguy cuz I have so many booboos!

Damon, singing to "My Country Tis of Thee": I love everybody but Donald Trump!

Damon: what is t-i-r-e-d? Is it "turd"?

The radio is cheerfully playing "It's Beginning to Look A Lot like Christmas" and an indignant Damon comments, "it IS Christmas, you idiot!"

An enthusiastic Damon to Dada: you are a good maker of salsa!

Mama, texting Rita about potential snowfall: Now WTOL is saying three to eight!!!!!
Rita: Tell them to shut it!!!!!

Dada: Liam, I wanted to let you know before you went to school that Donald Trump will be our next President...
Liam, 11: *sigh* Then can we move?

Damon, 6: May I please play on the iPad cuz I'm your cutie and I finished my breakfast?

Dada, teasing Damon, 6: I'm gonna wear you. As my belt. Right here.
Damon, bemoaning: I'll die! I'm not that stretchy!

Carrie, 13, on cologne samples: Woohoo, it's nice! *sniff* *COUGH COUGH*

According to AutoCorrect, Carrie's "Ah forget it, I hate this keyboard" becomes "Ah frog it, I hat this key butt."

Mama to Liam, a bacon-devourer: Bacon doesn't really count as a protein.
Liam: It's MEAT!........ kind of..... okay, it's tasty.

Damon, 6, to Pap: Wo who are you gonna marry next?
Pap: Nobody.
Liam: You can live with us!
Pap: I'll probably live in my shop out there.
Dada: Yeah, marry your table saw.
Pap: Haha! If I could find a younger one...

Damon, 6, from the back seat, singing to the "We Are Farmers" commercial: You're the best mom ever...
Mama waits for the dum da dum dum dum dum DUM 
Damon: uh, but that isn't fair to Zita...

Carrie to Alexis: John still hasn't wrotten me back.
Mama overheard: Carrie. "Wrotten"? You're in EIGHTH GRADE. "Wrotten?!"
Carrie to Alexis: John still hasn't emailed me back.

Damon: Mama, I'm six and a half! Are you forty and a half?
Mama: Yes. Actually I'm more like forty and three fourths.
Damon: And then you'll be fifty!
Mama: ... noooooo, then I'll be forty-ONE, thank you very much.

On fears, thirteen year old Carrie yammers on, explaining. Then, to sum up, "but probably bees."

Mama, Halloween weekend, sipping hot coffee, hums in satisfaction to Dada: I love how that looks in there. Like it's been in there forever. The hutch.
Dada: Oh, I was gonna ask- the Christmas tree?
Mama makes a wry face: that HAS been there forever.

Damon, 6, on brushing his teeth and getting eyedrops: YOU'RE TORTURING ME! THIS IS THE WORST DAY THAT I'VE EVER HAD! And I mean THE WORST.

Damon, 6:  Do you like me better when my pupils are big? Am I cuter when my pupils are big?

Mama, losing patience with kids sloooooogging through homework, texts Rita to maintain sanity.
Rita: They are cute and have smushy kissable cheeks.
Mama: True. However I am going to CHOMP HIM!!!!
Rita: Haha! That is always satisfying.
Mama: Well, I meant to maim...

Dada, trying to pep-talk Carrie before a math test: Gimme an M. Gimme an A. Gimme a T. Gimme an H. What's that spell?
Carrie: Meth.
Mama shuts her eyes, reaching for coffee.
Carrie starts giggling as Dada peps on, unconcerned.
Dada noticing, stops.
Dada: What'd you say?
Mama begins humming "Signs"

Mama to a packing for summertime at Pap's Carrie: Carrie, wanna take the pink laundry thing?
Carrie: No, Pap has a dishwasher. Waitaminute.

Damon is commentating from the Old Lady Room while Mama makes lunch.
Mama: Tell me nobody's on the Wii...
Damon: I am on the Wii!
Mama: DAMON.
Damon, singsong: Just kidding.
Mama: Child. There will be beatings.
Damon: Yay! I get to beat you up, too. Free for all!

Carrie: Mom, what's Kona Ice?
Mama shrugs.
Carrie: If I sold 3 magazines last night, the ice cream trucks pulled up but one, I didn't know what Kona Ice was, and three I didn't sell three. *pause* WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dada, trying to open a bottle of wine, experiences a cork break. Trying to get it out, it falls farther in. After trying a longer corkscrew, both cork and corkscrew drop into the full bottle of wine. 
Grandmama: what now?
Dada: Grrr. Now we get something to pour the wine in.

July 2015-November 2015 Quotes

Either I am WAAAAAAY behind or I already posted this on A Contingent of Kurths. Either way, enjoy!

Mama: Dada, hit a turkey on the way to work...
Damon: Did he eat it??

Mama is tickling Carrie with freezing cold hands. Complaining, she says, "you're cold"
"I know. It's less than 70 inside and less than 70 outside. And I'm cold blooded." Mama sticks out her tongue like a snake. Carrie, "really?" Mama cracks up. Carrie, "not cool."

Liam, nine and thirty-five thirty-sixths: where's the plutonium jelly?

In Canada, seeing signs.
Mama: is it /sor-tee/ or /sor-tee-ay/ for "sortie/exit"?
Dada: Uh, I dunno. I always thought it was /sor-tee/ but I could be /sor-tee/ wrong.

Carrie, indignant: I know that vocab!
Mama: No, you don't.
Carrie: Yes, I do!
Mama: What's an atom?
Carrie: It's made up of positrons and negatrons...
Mama: NO, IT'S NOT!
Carrie: Bwhahahaha!

Mama: Why do you have art all over your arm?
Carrie: We all do.
Mama: If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off too?
Carrie: Yes. Yes, I would. All my friends are in 8th grade.
Mama: ...

Liam: Generally speaking, Grandmama, you're not really all that old.

Damon: You're tuwning brown.
Mama: Hmm. I must be eating lots of chocolate. How much chocolate do you think Zita eats?
Damon: All of it.

Mama: Carrie, come rescue this stinkbug.
Carrie: Justaminute.
Damon: I'll get it! *pause* Ow! It kicked me! Carrie, can you get it? It'll kick me again!
Dada: Carrie, come get it or I'll "rescue it"...

Carrie: What is that?
Mama: It's Grey Poupon.
Carrie: WHAT?! Poop on?! ...(As Mama heads to the quote board) No, wait! Why do IIIII have all the inappropriate ones?!
Dada: Junior high brain.

Carrie, shooing fruit flies.
Mama sniggers.
Carrie: GO AWAY! There's like 20 of them! *inhales sharply, then slaps hand against her nose*
Mama: Go blow.

Mama: Do you ever make chicken stock like from real chickens?
Grandmama: No. That's why God gave us Swanson's.

To Mama, who's been painting: 
Liam: You look better in your bikini than in anything else. Which is weird. Cuz you can see more of your skin.

Liam: Do you know the Canadian language?
Dada: Yup.
Liam, astounded: Really!?!?!

Dada singing, "it's the ennnnnd of the world as we know it"
Damon retorts: You don't know that!!

At Manoj and Priscilla's, Mama admires the paint in the bedroom: I wonder what they call this green.
Dada: Pea pod sprout on a spring day under a full moon!
Mama: ...!

Carrie: She wants to know where we get these green beans.
Mama: Del Monte, Blue Lake, Cut Green Beans. Kroger. Walmart. Meijer.
Carrie, examining her Tupperware: Where does it say that?... Oh.... They don't come in this....

Dada: What?!
Mama: I said, "are you patting my candy pants?"
Dada: I THOUGHT I heard "are you panting my canteen?" Hehe!

Grandmama: and I brought Dada some pickles...
Damon breaks into the Hallelujah chorus.
Grandmama and Mama exchange mystified giggles.

Zita: How do you survive so many school nites?? I have one a week and wondering if humans self combust!

Carrie sneezes.
Mama: God bless you!
Carrie: Thank you!
Grandmama: I hope your sneeze germs all run right back up your arm!
Mama: Hahahah! That's not very nice!
Grandmama: If they'd wanted some sweet old granny they should've picked somebody else.

Grandmama: Are those suns?
Damon: No, they're spiders.
Grandmama: Why are they up in the sky?
Damon: See, they have 8. Suns have 10.
Grandmama and Mama: ...

Liam: Do you think there's such a thing as a himicane? *pause* Because there's a hurricane...

Carrie: Are you allowed to drink when you have kids?
Mama: Howdoyouthinkwegetthroughparenting?
Carrie: What?
Mama: Never mind.
Carrie: That's how they survive parentinghood?
Mama grins.

Mama, squeezing Damon tight during love: Mmmmmm, squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze the Bebeeeeeeee!
Damon, squeaking: Aaaaahhhh! You'll squish my brains out and pop my bones out of me!

Grandmama: Carriiiiiiiieeeee Maaaaaaayyyy... I didn't drive all this way to come look at your bum (under covers, not getting out of bed the last day of summer vacation)

Grandmama, replying to emails: Valerie, if I ever get like this and you don't shoot me, it's your own doggone fault.

Mama: Damon, go brush your teeth.
Damon: Hold on, I'm decorationing.

Mama, disgruntled over Damon losing hoodie and Liam losing lunch box: Gonna send you two to school in a barrel!
Carrie: Hope they lose it...
Mama: !!!

Carrie, hollering: Maaaaamaaaaaaaaaa, canIpeeintheOldLadyRoom?
Mama: No.
Damon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH! NooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mama, astounded: I said, "no!"
Damon: Oh, whew. I thought you said, "yes"
(Is Dada home from New Zealand YET!?)

Damon, singing: I'm sixty and I know it...

Damon, 5: Skeletor and Stinkinfind (naming his drawings)

Damon, singing again: We found a callipitter... we found a callipitter....

                                 ***

"How volatile and untrustworthy memory is. How naive we are to depend on such a fragile, tempermental mechanism to keep our most important records straight." Jonathan Carroll's Bathing the Lion

Watermelony

The boys have been poster children for "brothers" this month. I don't know if Damon is coming fully into his role of "little brother" or what, but there are screams emenating from our home daily. Not all of them are from the kids.

Damon has learned by now exactly what buttons he can push to maximize his brother's rage. What I can't understand is the reasoning behind wanting to. I have the head knowledge enough to know that kids want attention, whether it be positive or negative. What I can't figure out is why don't they learn faster that positive is so much better than negative. Why in the world would you want to hear Liam, red-faced and fisted, screaming and making ugly faces at you? Over a LEGO? Why? More like

WHY?!?!?!?!?!??!?

How pitiful that that's the largest font I can get. Bah.

Anyway, there have been some pretty hilarious moments between them too. Damon adores watermelon. Apparently, he also loves touching Liam post-watermelon-consumption. I'm in the kitchen and I hear Liam holler (this time while laughing), "Get your watermelony fingers outta my hair!"

Totally cracked me up. Liam has a crew cut. His hair is about the same length as his eyelashes. Why Damon thought it'd be a good idea to come caress Liam with sticky watermelon fingers is beyond me, but it's sure become a catch phrase around here.

Get your watermelony fingers outta my hair!

Is watermelony even a word? I guess it is now. Brought to you by Liam, the one who coined "flowerful".

May you have a watermelony weekend.

I Spy with My Little Eye...

Damon's been on an I Spy kick lately. Usually he and Liam play together; they have their sibling-thing going on in that they don't actually SEE the things they're describing. For instance:

Damon: I spy wif my wittle eye somefing what's WED.
Liam: Santa's hat!
Damon: YES! Youw tuwn.

So after a few rounds of losing badly, I started kissing and nibbling Damon. It's one of my favorite things to do, so he's used to it. He claimed it was my turn.

Mama: I spy with my little eye something DELICIOUS!
Damon: It's meeeeee!
Mama: Yes! *proceeds to kiss and nibble his sweet face*
Damon, holding my face between his hands: Dewe is no dewicious in da game, Mama.

After a few more rounds, Carrie was directly behind me. Think of "keep-away" in basketball. I took my turn.

Mama: I spy with my little eye something ANNOYING.
Damon, from across the house: CAWWIE!
Carrie and I burst into laughter to a chorus of Damon's: Is it wight? Is it wight? IS DAT WIGHT!?

You got it, kid.

"Celebrity Lunch" paper

Okay, since this isn't an official quote I'll make it a different color so it pops. I'm going through the multitudes of papers that adorn every surface of our home (think hobbits) and found this gem:

Directions: If you could have lunch with any famous person, who would it be? What would you talk about?

Answered by Liam, age 8:

If I could eat lunch with any famous person it would be Jesus. We would talk about how and why he died on the cross to save us from our sins. Where would we eat and what? At Burger king of corse! I would eat pizza. And he would eat bread and drink wine.

Fall 2010-Spring 2011

Apparently we've had a time warp. I can't find a quote board between this one and the previous one, so some of these quotes are OLD. Carrie is 7 in some of them, and that means Liam is around 4.5 and 5, so there will be some golden oldies in here for sure. Enjoy, and happy Memorial Day!

Carrie, 7: How do you know all this STUFF?! I thought IIII knew everything!

Grandmama, about Damon: This baby sounds like  a treeful of drunken parrots! (AAAACK! SCRAWK! YAAAH!)

Liam to Mama: I'm stuck in the curtains!

Mama, reading Harry Potter to Carrie: ... Professor Quirrel... zombie... etc.
Carrie: What's a zombie?
Mama: They're called Undead. Something that came back to life. They're not real. Like in the Michael Jackson Thriller video...
Carrie: So... Jesus was a zombie? He came back to life! I'm confused!

Mama: You're a good big brother. Do you know that?
Liam: Yeah. I know.

Liam,5, to uncle Doug: PaPa has silver hair like you!
Doug: You know what, come here, you little turkey!

Carrie, 7.5: *singing* A leasenoveda (Feliz Navidad, we think)

Liam, 5, to dental hygenist Cindy: Now watch it. Don't get all scrape-y by my gummies.

Liam, 5: The silos were making me sigh.

Mama to Dada: I love you. Just because.
Dada: I hope so.
Mama: After a dozen years you doubt it?
Dada: Some people have a higher pain tolerance than others!

Liam to Carrie at Bob Evans: Why don't you have your straw twisted?
Carrie: I'm not a fancy kid. I just like regular things.

PaPa, putting cinnamon on his Crispy Rice: Now they'll say, "snap crackle pop and BOOM!"
Liam jumps a mile and almost falls over laughing.

One hundred ninety and eighty-two. Liam's all purpose number.

Mama: Who invented the light bulb, do you remember?
Carrie: Zaccheus?

Mama: Liam, what're you doin'?
Liam: Brushing my teeth. That was one half. Three more halfs and I'm done!

Mama's almost out of Caramel Marvel sacue: Does that mean it comes outta the grocery budget?
Dada: That comes outta the makes-my-Baby-love-me budget, woot woot!

Liamism #332: potty pumper= plunger

Mam to Dada: Can you please get unplugged and go (help with getting kids ready for school)?
Dada, grinnning: Yep. As soon as I figure out how a human cannon works.

Dada, checking Carrie's supposedly-clean teeth: No, no, no, no, and no. Go brush again.
Carrie: Which ones?
Dada: In the general direction (pointing to the entire mouth) where your teeth are!!

Liam: There is a black, flying, hopping, and crawling bug in the bathroom. Maybe it flew out. Or maybe it is just camoflauged on my underpants. On the ink part.

Mama, impersonating Jeff Foxworthy, drawling about tornadoes, disasters, etc.
Carrie: Why are you speaking Cowboy?
Mama: I'm speakin' Southern, darlin'.
Carrie: Where's Southern?

Liam: How come old men use walking sticks?
Mama: Cuz their legs aren't as steady as they used to be.
Liam: Mine are steady.
Mama: You're young and fresh.
Liam: Yep, I'm young and fresh and you're old and yucky.

Carrie: Adishon, Subterakshon, Times (2nd gd)

Mama: I burst my button! That's what I get for trying to fit my ego in size 2 pants!

Liam, 5.5: Oh, you stupid poop! I wish I did not have a butt!

Dada: "Wildflowers" is the Latin word for "weeds".
Mama: @($*%&)$%^$ Grrrr! (Mama LOVES wildflowers)

Liam: Who was on the moon?
Mama: Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldren...
Liam: Buzz Lightyear Aldren?!

Dada, singing: How lovin' every night....
Mama: That's the only line of this you know, isn't it?
Dada: Woooo-ah! Heheheheh!

On April 2nd, Mama exclaims: WHY are there fruit flies already!?
Liam: What? You got fertilized!?

Dada, making fun of "A Sock is a Pocket for Your Toes": A bellybutton is a pocket for your lint!

Carrie, reading: "forklifted and raced..."
Mama: "frolicked, Carrie, frolicked"

Liam: Why do the mini wheats have frosting?
Mama: to make them even yummier.
Liam: Even yummier than the straw?*

* This is especially funny if you know that Mama herself used to rib PaPa about eating HIS shredded wheat, which she proclaimed as "hay". He doesn't like the frosted ones!

Liam, 5.5: Once, twice, thrice,... what's fource?
Mama: Hehehe

Liam: Thanks for my burning hot mac and cheese!

Mama: Manicotti, linguine, spaghetti...
Liam, looking at the noodle cookbook: What's this one?
Mama: Couscous.
Liam: Couscous!? Well, THAT'S a weird name for a noodle!

"Dear Santa, This year I was a dingbat. Please bring me nothing. Love, Carrie."

Dada, musing about 2011 garden: Hmm. I don't think I've ever spelled "Broccoli" right. It's like E.Coli. Not sure I wanna remember it like that!

Mama explains AB patterns to Liam: You got up, then Damon got up.
Liam,5: No, that's an LD pattern. I'm an L and Damon starts with D.

Carrie, 7.5: Sometimes my words don't come out the way my brain does it. As they say, "sometimes your brain works faster than your hand!"

Carrie, 7.5, doing homework: I need to circle the herds. (Pause.) Nerves. (Pause.) Verbs!

Carrie, 7.5, writing: Dear Santa,
Mama, interrupting: Dear Carrie, don't even bother...
Dada, also interrupting: Dear Carrie, "we are men of action. Lies do not become us."

Mama to Liam,5: Did you do your chapstick?
Liam: I accidently got it on my eye because I wasn't paying attention, but I can fix that...

Carrie, 7, eating macaroni shells: Mama, before these were cooked, were these real seashells?

Post-breaking of the bunk beds, Liam, 5: I was tempted.

Liam, 5, blowing his nose: That made my eye throw up.

Carrie, 7.5: IIIIIII am not drinking that wine, am I?
Dada: No, you're not. It's mine.
Liam, 5: It's not lime.

Carrie, 7.5, chattering about birthday parties: Makinna invited 4 girls- that's a total of 5 girls, and guess what? Isaac said I count as a boy.

On the way to preschool, Liam points out clouds: Look, Mama. There's God's foot. See it? And his other leg is on the other side. He's exercising.

Checking out Dada's spine, Liam, 5: Dada, how come you've got dinosaur bones on you?

Mama: Liam, is that... pizza sauce on your shirt???
Liam,5, matter of factly: No, it's just blood.

Liam,5: Hey Mama, the lower case 4 looks like an upside down chair. (It really does, just not in this font!)

Liam,5: Damon's a doodlebug! He's a dude!

Dada: Liam, please pee and wash up for dinner.
Liam: I DID! (loooooooooooong pause) Yesterday!

Carrie to Pap: Can you guess what music this is?
Dada: Yeah, what movie about a young wizard who goes to school?
Pap: Oh yeah... that's a good one. "Billy Potter!"
Carrie and Liam together: NOOOOO! HARRY Potter!

Dada: Does anyone want scrambled eggs?
Carrie: What kind of eggs?
Dada: What do you mean, what kind of eggs? The kind in the little shell packages!*

*Carrie is reading over my shoulder as I type, and for this last one I added, "what kind of eggs? Emu? Ostrich?" She piped in, "elephant?" I staaaaaaaaaaaaared at her until she realized, "oh wait, elephants don't lay eggs. Hahahahahah!"

Hoooo boy.

Late Spring 2011- Winter of early 2012

Mama hands freezing Crown Royal to Liam: Take this to Dada, please.
Liam, 6: Here, Dada, Dada, Dada. Here. What is it? Ink?

Before unit 4 math test, Mama coaches: If I gave you 5 M&M's, you can't TAKE 15 from them. But if I gave you 15, you COULD make 5 sets of 3.
Carrie: No. I'd just eat them.

Liam: Can we move around in Heaven? I hope there's clouds cuz if you trip and fall you don't wanna scrape your face. If you trip and fall on clouds you won't get hurt.

While listening to Les Mis, Mama comments: Poor Eponine.
Liam: Why poor Eponine?
Mama explains: The man she loves loves another girl more than her.
Liam: Oh! Probably feels like friendly fire!

Talking about winning SkyMiles, Mama asks: Who says we can't take the kids with us?
Dada raises his hand.
Carrie: Yeah, we HAVE been obnoxious lately...

Liam: Are we going home to get beatings? Oh boy! Haha. I'm just kidding.

"Went out for a run. 7:10 AM. Love ya, Scott. PS Duck Donuts here I come!"  ~note from OBX

Carrie: We're setting a record of how long we can stay upstairs, so Mama, can you bring us room service?
Mama: Um, no. Come down here and eat.

Mama to a post-puking Carrie: You look like your normal self.
Carrie: Yeah. But I bet not on the inside.

Liam, 6: I love every speck of nature that God made us. Even though it makes me sneeze.

Mama to Liam, 6: Do you know that you're incredibly gorgeous?
Liam: *sigh* Of course I know. Geez.

Liam, 6, hands Mama a snack-size bag of Skittles: Can you please open these so that they don't *BOOM* all over creation?

Playing Scrabble at age 8, Carrie: I have "loy."
Mama: That's not a word.
Carrie. Oh. Yes, it is. Like "lawyer!"

Liam's in the bathroom a LONG time. Mama: You okay, Liam?
Liam: Yep. *Pause* Didn't fall in or anything.
Mama: Good.
Liam: Cuz I was STANDING! *diabolical laugh*

Mama: Can you pass me my phone, please?
Liam, at the table: Do you mind if it's sticky?

Carrie: Read me another Bible story.
Mama: Hmm. "Respect your mother and father." Hmm. How about that!?
Carrie: Not THAT one.

Mama: ARGH! How can you STILL be hungry?
Liam: I guess I'm just a hog.

Mama and Liam, 5.5, are talking about butts (again) and Mama says: Another word for butt is "buttocks."
Liam: "Butt ducks!?"

Liam, 5.5, with a twinkle in his eye: Mama, I love you.
Mama: I love you, too.
Liam: I'm hungry. Can I have a snack?

Mama: Hmm, there's something I was going to tell you. What was it?
Liam, 5 and three-fourths: I dunno. I can't read your brain.

Mama: I got you Star Wars valentines for your party.
Liam: YAY! Are there light sabers at the end for extramation marks?

Dada: I don't know what that was, but you need to focus on your food.
Liam: It was inner peace!
Dada: Fine, but if you do anything other than eat your dinner, it won't be inner peace, it will be outer pain!

Damon: MAMA! (22 months, FINALLY. Until now it had always been "Dada", which was used to mean "person I love")

Liam trying to explain fractions to Mama: You just don't get math, Mama.

Mama, asking Carrie about her spelling test: Didja get "evaluate"?
Carrie: I'm sure I did.
Mama: How about "solve"? Didja do S-O-V-L-E?
Carrie, enthusiastic: Yep! I DID!
Mama: Cuz that's WRONG.
Carrie: Oh.  No! I did it right! Hehehehee!

Liam, examining his tissue: Woah. That was boogerful.

Liam, 5 and 35/36ths, drawing: I'm gonna make an alien..................cow.

Mama to Dada: Whaddaya think your favorite part of the race will be?
Liam, from the backseat: Hopefully winning winning winning!

Liam, almost 6, wiggling eyebrows: "BUS." There's a silent f.

Liam: Did you put ketchup on it?
Mama: Yes. And spaghetti sauce. It's plain.
Liam: And sauce. OTherwise it wouldn't be sloppy joe. It'd just be Joe.

Mama: ENOUGH! I should not have to listen to toys peeing! I should not have to say things like that.....

Liam: The greatest mom in the whole entire planet is you.
Mama: Aww, thanks.
Liam: I'm hungry. Can I have a snack?

Damon, 18 months, singsong: Gall gone. (All gone.)

Liam to Dada, post-run: You really ARE sweaty. I can see your shines.

Checking Carrie's teeth (at age 8!) before bed, Mama notices: That's CORN! Disgusting!
Carrie: I didn't have corn tonight. I had it LAST night.
Mama: !!!

Carrie, in the car, waiting to "be bad": If I promise to keep my big fat mouth shut and not tell Liam?

Carrie, singing: tom ti doo... I'm drivelling a soccer ball *pause* balloon *pause* basket ball!

Liam, to Rusted Root, singing: Send me on my way, drum drum drum, send me on my way...

Liam: Amphibian and beyond
Mama: !

Carrie, 8.5: Thanks for taking my butt seriously. (Thanks for making my seat warm.)

Mama to Dada in Pepe: You made a good choice. You had a good idea.
Dada: Yay. Once in my life.
Mama: You've had lots of good ideas. I can think of 3 right now.
Dada: Hawaii trip?
Mama: I was thinking of Things One, Two and Three, but yes.
Dada: Those were impulse.

Liam,6: That upset butt was actually a bum burp.

Mama: English is so hard. You guys are learning a hard language.
Carrie: Spanish is -
Mama: Spanish is easier. If you can say it, you can spell it. Not many silent letters.
Dada perks up: Oui! Wait...

Dada snags ANOTHER fresh-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookie.
Mama: STOP IT! That's FOUR!
Dada: Do not keep a record of wrongs! *Hightails it out of the kitchen at Mama's glare, laughing hysterically*

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: Some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." ~Sam Ewing, writer and radio announcer

Carrie, on a cold, rainy afternoon after school: Thank you, God, that I was born when hot chocolate was invented!

Liam, 5 and 11/12ths: Can I have some of those?
Mama: Marshmallows? Yep. Hinrew used to call them "marshmalloons."
Liam: Can I have some mushballoons? I mean... hahaha!