Apparently we've had a time warp. I can't find a quote board between this one and the previous one, so some of these quotes are OLD. Carrie is 7 in some of them, and that means Liam is around 4.5 and 5, so there will be some golden oldies in here for sure. Enjoy, and happy Memorial Day!
Carrie, 7: How do you know all this STUFF?! I thought IIII knew everything!
Grandmama, about Damon: This baby sounds like a treeful of drunken parrots! (AAAACK! SCRAWK! YAAAH!)
Liam to Mama: I'm stuck in the curtains!
Mama, reading Harry Potter to Carrie: ... Professor Quirrel... zombie... etc.
Carrie: What's a zombie?
Mama: They're called Undead. Something that came back to life. They're not real. Like in the Michael Jackson Thriller video...
Carrie: So... Jesus was a zombie? He came back to life! I'm confused!
Mama: You're a good big brother. Do you know that?
Liam: Yeah. I know.
Liam,5, to uncle Doug: PaPa has silver hair like you!
Doug: You know what, come here, you little turkey!
Carrie, 7.5: *singing* A leasenoveda (Feliz Navidad, we think)
Liam, 5, to dental hygenist Cindy: Now watch it. Don't get all scrape-y by my gummies.
Liam, 5: The silos were making me sigh.
Mama to Dada: I love you. Just because.
Dada: I hope so.
Mama: After a dozen years you doubt it?
Dada: Some people have a higher pain tolerance than others!
Liam to Carrie at Bob Evans: Why don't you have your straw twisted?
Carrie: I'm not a fancy kid. I just like regular things.
PaPa, putting cinnamon on his Crispy Rice: Now they'll say, "snap crackle pop and BOOM!"
Liam jumps a mile and almost falls over laughing.
One hundred ninety and eighty-two. Liam's all purpose number.
Mama: Who invented the light bulb, do you remember?
Carrie: Zaccheus?
Mama: Liam, what're you doin'?
Liam: Brushing my teeth. That was one half. Three more halfs and I'm done!
Mama's almost out of Caramel Marvel sacue: Does that mean it comes outta the grocery budget?
Dada: That comes outta the makes-my-Baby-love-me budget, woot woot!
Liamism #332: potty pumper= plunger
Mam to Dada: Can you please get unplugged and go (help with getting kids ready for school)?
Dada, grinnning: Yep. As soon as I figure out how a human cannon works.
Dada, checking Carrie's supposedly-clean teeth: No, no, no, no, and no. Go brush again.
Carrie: Which ones?
Dada: In the general direction (pointing to the entire mouth) where your teeth are!!
Liam: There is a black, flying, hopping, and crawling bug in the bathroom. Maybe it flew out. Or maybe it is just camoflauged on my underpants. On the ink part.
Mama, impersonating Jeff Foxworthy, drawling about tornadoes, disasters, etc.
Carrie: Why are you speaking Cowboy?
Mama: I'm speakin' Southern, darlin'.
Carrie: Where's Southern?
Liam: How come old men use walking sticks?
Mama: Cuz their legs aren't as steady as they used to be.
Liam: Mine are steady.
Mama: You're young and fresh.
Liam: Yep, I'm young and fresh and you're old and yucky.
Carrie: Adishon, Subterakshon, Times (2nd gd)
Mama: I burst my button! That's what I get for trying to fit my ego in size 2 pants!
Liam, 5.5: Oh, you stupid poop! I wish I did not have a butt!
Dada: "Wildflowers" is the Latin word for "weeds".
Mama: @($*%&)$%^$ Grrrr! (Mama LOVES wildflowers)
Liam: Who was on the moon?
Mama: Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldren...
Liam: Buzz Lightyear Aldren?!
Dada, singing: How lovin' every night....
Mama: That's the only line of this you know, isn't it?
Dada: Woooo-ah! Heheheheh!
On April 2nd, Mama exclaims: WHY are there fruit flies already!?
Liam: What? You got fertilized!?
Dada, making fun of "A Sock is a Pocket for Your Toes": A bellybutton is a pocket for your lint!
Carrie, reading: "forklifted and raced..."
Mama: "frolicked, Carrie, frolicked"
Liam: Why do the mini wheats have frosting?
Mama: to make them even yummier.
Liam: Even yummier than the straw?*
* This is especially funny if you know that Mama herself used to rib PaPa about eating HIS shredded wheat, which she proclaimed as "hay". He doesn't like the frosted ones!
Liam, 5.5: Once, twice, thrice,... what's fource?
Mama: Hehehe
Liam: Thanks for my burning hot mac and cheese!
Mama: Manicotti, linguine, spaghetti...
Liam, looking at the noodle cookbook: What's this one?
Mama: Couscous.
Liam: Couscous!? Well, THAT'S a weird name for a noodle!
"Dear Santa, This year I was a dingbat. Please bring me nothing. Love, Carrie."
Dada, musing about 2011 garden: Hmm. I don't think I've ever spelled "Broccoli" right. It's like E.Coli. Not sure I wanna remember it like that!
Mama explains AB patterns to Liam: You got up, then Damon got up.
Liam,5: No, that's an LD pattern. I'm an L and Damon starts with D.
Carrie, 7.5: Sometimes my words don't come out the way my brain does it. As they say, "sometimes your brain works faster than your hand!"
Carrie, 7.5, doing homework: I need to circle the herds. (Pause.) Nerves. (Pause.) Verbs!
Carrie, 7.5, writing: Dear Santa,
Mama, interrupting: Dear Carrie, don't even bother...
Dada, also interrupting: Dear Carrie, "we are men of action. Lies do not become us."
Mama to Liam,5: Did you do your chapstick?
Liam: I accidently got it on my eye because I wasn't paying attention, but I can fix that...
Carrie, 7, eating macaroni shells: Mama, before these were cooked, were these real seashells?
Post-breaking of the bunk beds, Liam, 5: I was tempted.
Liam, 5, blowing his nose: That made my eye throw up.
Carrie, 7.5: IIIIIII am not drinking that wine, am I?
Dada: No, you're not. It's mine.
Liam, 5: It's not lime.
Carrie, 7.5, chattering about birthday parties: Makinna invited 4 girls- that's a total of 5 girls, and guess what? Isaac said I count as a boy.
On the way to preschool, Liam points out clouds: Look, Mama. There's God's foot. See it? And his other leg is on the other side. He's exercising.
Checking out Dada's spine, Liam, 5: Dada, how come you've got dinosaur bones on you?
Mama: Liam, is that... pizza sauce on your shirt???
Liam,5, matter of factly: No, it's just blood.
Liam,5: Hey Mama, the lower case 4 looks like an upside down chair. (It really does, just not in this font!)
Liam,5: Damon's a doodlebug! He's a dude!
Dada: Liam, please pee and wash up for dinner.
Liam: I DID! (loooooooooooong pause) Yesterday!
Carrie to Pap: Can you guess what music this is?
Dada: Yeah, what movie about a young wizard who goes to school?
Pap: Oh yeah... that's a good one. "Billy Potter!"
Carrie and Liam together: NOOOOO! HARRY Potter!
Dada: Does anyone want scrambled eggs?
Carrie: What kind of eggs?
Dada: What do you mean, what kind of eggs? The kind in the little shell packages!*
*Carrie is reading over my shoulder as I type, and for this last one I added, "what kind of eggs? Emu? Ostrich?" She piped in, "elephant?" I staaaaaaaaaaaaared at her until she realized, "oh wait, elephants don't lay eggs. Hahahahahah!"
Hoooo boy.
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