Late Spring 2011- Winter of early 2012

Mama hands freezing Crown Royal to Liam: Take this to Dada, please.
Liam, 6: Here, Dada, Dada, Dada. Here. What is it? Ink?

Before unit 4 math test, Mama coaches: If I gave you 5 M&M's, you can't TAKE 15 from them. But if I gave you 15, you COULD make 5 sets of 3.
Carrie: No. I'd just eat them.

Liam: Can we move around in Heaven? I hope there's clouds cuz if you trip and fall you don't wanna scrape your face. If you trip and fall on clouds you won't get hurt.

While listening to Les Mis, Mama comments: Poor Eponine.
Liam: Why poor Eponine?
Mama explains: The man she loves loves another girl more than her.
Liam: Oh! Probably feels like friendly fire!

Talking about winning SkyMiles, Mama asks: Who says we can't take the kids with us?
Dada raises his hand.
Carrie: Yeah, we HAVE been obnoxious lately...

Liam: Are we going home to get beatings? Oh boy! Haha. I'm just kidding.

"Went out for a run. 7:10 AM. Love ya, Scott. PS Duck Donuts here I come!"  ~note from OBX

Carrie: We're setting a record of how long we can stay upstairs, so Mama, can you bring us room service?
Mama: Um, no. Come down here and eat.

Mama to a post-puking Carrie: You look like your normal self.
Carrie: Yeah. But I bet not on the inside.

Liam, 6: I love every speck of nature that God made us. Even though it makes me sneeze.

Mama to Liam, 6: Do you know that you're incredibly gorgeous?
Liam: *sigh* Of course I know. Geez.

Liam, 6, hands Mama a snack-size bag of Skittles: Can you please open these so that they don't *BOOM* all over creation?

Playing Scrabble at age 8, Carrie: I have "loy."
Mama: That's not a word.
Carrie. Oh. Yes, it is. Like "lawyer!"

Liam's in the bathroom a LONG time. Mama: You okay, Liam?
Liam: Yep. *Pause* Didn't fall in or anything.
Mama: Good.
Liam: Cuz I was STANDING! *diabolical laugh*

Mama: Can you pass me my phone, please?
Liam, at the table: Do you mind if it's sticky?

Carrie: Read me another Bible story.
Mama: Hmm. "Respect your mother and father." Hmm. How about that!?
Carrie: Not THAT one.

Mama: ARGH! How can you STILL be hungry?
Liam: I guess I'm just a hog.

Mama and Liam, 5.5, are talking about butts (again) and Mama says: Another word for butt is "buttocks."
Liam: "Butt ducks!?"

Liam, 5.5, with a twinkle in his eye: Mama, I love you.
Mama: I love you, too.
Liam: I'm hungry. Can I have a snack?

Mama: Hmm, there's something I was going to tell you. What was it?
Liam, 5 and three-fourths: I dunno. I can't read your brain.

Mama: I got you Star Wars valentines for your party.
Liam: YAY! Are there light sabers at the end for extramation marks?

Dada: I don't know what that was, but you need to focus on your food.
Liam: It was inner peace!
Dada: Fine, but if you do anything other than eat your dinner, it won't be inner peace, it will be outer pain!

Damon: MAMA! (22 months, FINALLY. Until now it had always been "Dada", which was used to mean "person I love")

Liam trying to explain fractions to Mama: You just don't get math, Mama.

Mama, asking Carrie about her spelling test: Didja get "evaluate"?
Carrie: I'm sure I did.
Mama: How about "solve"? Didja do S-O-V-L-E?
Carrie, enthusiastic: Yep! I DID!
Mama: Cuz that's WRONG.
Carrie: Oh.  No! I did it right! Hehehehee!

Liam, examining his tissue: Woah. That was boogerful.

Liam, 5 and 35/36ths, drawing: I'm gonna make an alien..................cow.

Mama to Dada: Whaddaya think your favorite part of the race will be?
Liam, from the backseat: Hopefully winning winning winning!

Liam, almost 6, wiggling eyebrows: "BUS." There's a silent f.

Liam: Did you put ketchup on it?
Mama: Yes. And spaghetti sauce. It's plain.
Liam: And sauce. OTherwise it wouldn't be sloppy joe. It'd just be Joe.

Mama: ENOUGH! I should not have to listen to toys peeing! I should not have to say things like that.....

Liam: The greatest mom in the whole entire planet is you.
Mama: Aww, thanks.
Liam: I'm hungry. Can I have a snack?

Damon, 18 months, singsong: Gall gone. (All gone.)

Liam to Dada, post-run: You really ARE sweaty. I can see your shines.

Checking Carrie's teeth (at age 8!) before bed, Mama notices: That's CORN! Disgusting!
Carrie: I didn't have corn tonight. I had it LAST night.
Mama: !!!

Carrie, in the car, waiting to "be bad": If I promise to keep my big fat mouth shut and not tell Liam?

Carrie, singing: tom ti doo... I'm drivelling a soccer ball *pause* balloon *pause* basket ball!

Liam, to Rusted Root, singing: Send me on my way, drum drum drum, send me on my way...

Liam: Amphibian and beyond
Mama: !

Carrie, 8.5: Thanks for taking my butt seriously. (Thanks for making my seat warm.)

Mama to Dada in Pepe: You made a good choice. You had a good idea.
Dada: Yay. Once in my life.
Mama: You've had lots of good ideas. I can think of 3 right now.
Dada: Hawaii trip?
Mama: I was thinking of Things One, Two and Three, but yes.
Dada: Those were impulse.

Liam,6: That upset butt was actually a bum burp.

Mama: English is so hard. You guys are learning a hard language.
Carrie: Spanish is -
Mama: Spanish is easier. If you can say it, you can spell it. Not many silent letters.
Dada perks up: Oui! Wait...

Dada snags ANOTHER fresh-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookie.
Mama: STOP IT! That's FOUR!
Dada: Do not keep a record of wrongs! *Hightails it out of the kitchen at Mama's glare, laughing hysterically*

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: Some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." ~Sam Ewing, writer and radio announcer

Carrie, on a cold, rainy afternoon after school: Thank you, God, that I was born when hot chocolate was invented!

Liam, 5 and 11/12ths: Can I have some of those?
Mama: Marshmallows? Yep. Hinrew used to call them "marshmalloons."
Liam: Can I have some mushballoons? I mean... hahaha!

Here We Go Again

Quotes from The Best Nest ~ April 2013- March 2014

Wisdom from Grandmama #348: QUIT FUSSING! Geometry does not affect taste!

Damon, 3 and a half, shivering: I brrr-ing!

Rita: Coffee before Cheerios. Coffee before ANYTHING!

Carrie: Five over one = five oneths.

Carrie drops a piece of Popsicle on the floor, retrieves it, eats it, and announces: No Popsicle's going to waste on MY watch... *giggles* And my watch doesn't even work!

Mama finished a cup of hot coffee 1-21-14 without reheats!

Rita: Nobody could hear me today BECAUSE MY PANTS WERE TOO LOUD!

Damon, in the backseat: Horses say "neigh", donkeys say "hee haw" (repeat endlessly)
Mama: What do mamas say?
Damon, pauses: DAMON!

Mama to Carrie, who has her hand on her own behind: What are you doing?
Carrie: I'm protectinve you from my butt.
Mama: Really?
Carrie: Yeah.
Mama: Really!?
Carrie: I mean... *dissolves into laughter*

On February first, Mama: Like Mother Nature's saying, "Welcome to March." Er. February. *sighs* I WISH I could fast forward to March...

Dada to Liam: I'm scooping your ice cream in anticipation of you actually following directions. Don't disappoint me or I'm gonna get fatter.

Carrie to Mama: I have a crick in my neck- could you bite it out? NOIDIDN'TMEANIT!!!

Damon: I hate nuts in my mouf.

Mama: Did you just say "don't touch my natural gas stink hatch"?
Dada, about Carrie: Natural gas escape hatch.
Carrie falls over, laughing: Someone get me an inhaler...

Mama describing pride, good and bad, with Carrie. Liam pipes up, "Sometimes pride is a collective noun. Like a pride of lions."

Mama: Who else is coming?
Carrie: Aunt Kelly and Uncle Belly.

Mama: Ohhh, I love this song.
John Denver: You fill up my sen-ses...
Damon, vetoing: Wanna play Angwy Biwds. *changes channel*

Liam, 7.5: "Star Wars" was actually real, because in the beginning it says, "a long, long time ago" which was probably win the 1980's... yakyakyakyak, etc...

Carrie, 10.5: I threaded water for two minutes.
Dada: That's impressive.

Mama: Carrie, you need to clean up all this stuff and NOT put in on the counter.
Carrie: I will. *Steps to counter and drops book onto it*
Mama: THAT'S ON THE COUNTER!
Carrie: You have no sense of humor.
Mama: Oh, I dunno, I smiled as I said it.

Damon: Grandmama! PAUSE! (Perhaps too many e-games)

Damon: Strawberry jelly! YAY! YAY YAY!
Mama: Strawberry jelly... and a kiss. *smooch*
Damon: No kiss.

Damon: I hunnry!........ for donuts!

Damon, 2 and 11/12ths, to a curler-clad Grandmama: I wike da mufhrooms in yo' haiw. (He meant marshmallows.)

Mama: Are you pooping?
Damon: Noooooooooo!
Mama: Are you DONE pooping?
Damon: YES!!!!

Carrie, dancing uncomfortably: I'm being WEDGIFIED!

Damon, 2 and 11/12ths: Mama, I hunnry. I hunnry all day wong. I hunnry for purdy soon.

Damon, 3: To the fingy... and 'yond!

Grandmama reading: One day, Miss Nelson had her.... out.
Liam: Toenails?
Grandmama: Um, tonsils.

Damon: Maaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaa, I need a baf.
Mama: Whyyyyyyyy?
Damon, pausing: Cuz I'm WEAWY poopy?

Damon, 3.5: Da sun is pwaying hide n seek wif da moon... and da biwdies.

Mama: If you were to pick a fictional character and there was no Gandalf, who'd you want between you and the Balrog?
Dada: VOLDEMORT!

Carrie, 10.5: I've already learned it; I'm too lazy to do it.

Damon, protesting Mama's comment: I not a silky. I a softy!

Damon, 3.5: Wee-um spwashed his baf into my eyebaws.

Talking about the December 18 episode of Grimm featuring Krampus, Dada notes: Carrie, if you're gonna be naughty, now's the time to do it.
Mama: That's not nice! Ha ha ha!

Liam: Where are we even?
Mama: Sidecut Park, sweetie.
Liam: Why are there GRAVES?
Dada: That's what happens to the kids who don't listen here.
Liam: WHAT?!
Mama cracks up for several moments.
Dada: Guess we're goin' back.

Carrie hands Dada an algebra paper. He spontaneously combusts. Carrie, cackling: Guess that means I got it wrong!

Carrie in chair with butt up in the air.
Dada: Pain rises. (Stephen King reference) Just proves she's a pain in the bum.

Liam, singing: No, nay, never... no nay never no more... will I play the wide Grover...
In unison, Mama and Carrie: ... no...

Mama devouring Damon, 3.5: Will you always be kissable?
Damon: No.
I'll be kissable TOMORROW.

Carrie, singing loudly: ya da da da da DA, yadadadadaDAdadadadadadda DA...
Mama, louder: PUT A SOCK IN IT!
Carrie yanks off sock & stuffs it in her mouth: Gwadwy!

Mama: There's good stuff in beef.
Dada: It improves your moooooooooood.

Damon, 3.5, after taking apart Liam's SmartLinks and seeing the approaching school bus: Uh oh. I'm in big twouble!

Carrie sneaks up on Mama, who grabs her and pins her arms. Carrie: Do you ever run out of tricks?
Mama snakes a hand into Carrie's armpit and tickles: nope.
Carrie falls to floor: AHHHHHHHHHH!

There are other drawings and comics that I obviously can't depict here, but those are the latest for your enjoyment. =)